Faith?

"...I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?..." Rom.7:23-24

I wasn't going to say anything because we aren't to 'let the right hand know what the left hand is doing'. But I attempted a fast today.
I did the treamill for a short 10 minutes.
I had a tiny bit of apple this morning before leaving.
There was a meat/cheese platter brought to work for the staff, I did resist several times, and God even granted me a great deal of quiet time during a test to pray, but I did eat 3 pieces of the meat. They didn't taste good.
On the way home I was pleading for help as I was feeling tired and couldn't seem to get in the right frame of mind. I knew I wasn't physically hungry and I was determined to press on and run a good race.
My man left a bag of open chips on the oven and I had about 5 before getting it put away. I then had some chocolate chips. I thought maybe if I just had a controlled treat that then I could carry on, so I had a small bag of plain chips from my sons candy box.
I was still wanting to eat! So I thought of God's grace and thought perhaps I should look at this like training, have a healthy snack and fast the rest of the evening, so I had a banana and an oatmeal bar.
But then I had three Halloween chocolates!
This all was probably 20 minutes, and certainly not more then 30. I put a roast in the oven and helped my son with a little homework during this time too!
So I grabbed the leash and took Tucker for a walk.
When I got back I tidied the kitchen and did the dishes - pulling myself away from eating something several times!
That's when I came down here to tell whoever reads this.

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Rom.7:15

There are several things stirring in my spirit and in my mind ...

Paul does answer his question:
"Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Rom.7:24b-25

But in all honesty, I don't have a handle on that yet.

I understand and 'know' a lot in my head, but it has not translated into heart knowledge. While I had quiet time supervising the test I picked up that devotional book again. One chapter dealt with listening to counsel. I quickly jotted down some of the prayer at the end:
"My patient Father, you know that I sometimes get a burst of spiritual fire - that I often want to blaze into spiritual perfection with one amazing flare. And then I go cold so quickly. I listen to unbelieving voices. And not all of them are 'from without'."
I have many 'inner agonies' that I don't even wish to begin to talk about. Its seems that black ooze continually bubbles from deep within my heart. When I KNOW what I believe in, how does doubt creep in so silently!?

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Heb. 11:6

"...Let everyone be fully convinced in his own mind...
But the man who has doubts (misgivings, an uneasy conscience) about eating, and then eats ... stands condemned before God, because he is not true to his convictions and he does not act from faith. FOR WHATEVER DOES NOT ORIGINATE AND PROCEED FROM FAITH IS SIN." Rom.14:5b,23

"... said with tears, 'Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!'" Mark 9:24