The End

The end of the second '4 week challenge' ... what a joke.

I had it hit me that if I had stuck to things I know to be true that I would be 16 pounds lighter ... instead I am the same size and depressed.
Throw in no money for my daughter's birthday, the busyness of this time of year, the guilt for wanting to get rid of most of the STUFF we have for Christmas - mixed with a warm fire within when I day dream of it, ...

I am stuck - afraid to press on - afraid not to.
There's that fear thing again.

I know women that are very thin have their own issues
- but at least they can still dress it up.
I know we are each created to be unique
- but thats hard to accept when it is something you can change about yourself.
I know addicts (of all sorts) have their issues
- but at least if they are clean for a day they can dress, look in the mirror, and like what they see.

Yep, its basically the end of the second challenge.
And no, I'm not quitting.
I hope to plan a menu plan and stick to it.
I really enjoy walking Tucker after school and I think that is something I can keep up - but the treadmill is another story.
I will aim to TRY to do it in the mornings.

In my humility and shame

I have no one to blame

I sit in a prison of my own making

Its my own life its taking

I'm sorry for the envy my friend

Jealousy has an ugly end

I long for others to see me

And to be all that I know I can be

We say inner beauty is what counts

but disillusion is all that mounts

...

God may look at my heart

But man looks at the outer part.

We don't like to admit it

But if the shoe fits...

...

I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made

But my faults have made the beauty to fade.

I can't forget the past and press on, as says Paul

With it attached for all to see, it would take some serious gall!

But I live by faith in grace

perhaps its not too late to save face

...

So I will get up once more

Dust the hurt off and step through the door

...

I wish I could write ... write truth, ending in inspiration ...