Who are we, really?

How much does your physical wellness affect your emotions, and hence your character, and in essence the person you desire to be?

About a year ago I had had enough and went to see a specialist in the city. The live blood cell analysis demonstarted very clearly why I had been feeling so tired, and showed many other problem areas. With an allergy test he proved my water retention, low immune and some of the liver stress to be allergy related (ALL dairy, ALL wheat, ALL beef, etc.etc.).
We spent the money for the trip and appointments, and so also spent the money for the recommended supplements, etc. I was feeling better quite quickly. However, as my husband ran out of work over the winter, spring and into summer I haven't reordered my supplements. As I quit taking them, and started slipping with my allergy foods, I am now back to where I was, if not worse.
So, as much as I don't want this blog to be negative, I do want to have it logged where I am starting again.
I am very tired all the time. My mind is foggy and I find it difficult to think clearly. I find simple tasks difficult and often hear or see myself and am disgusted with how I am coming across. My joints hurt, I have headaches alot, my circulation is very poor and I struggle to get comfortable at night. I am very moody (and not just for a week a month! Although a side note - the progesterone cream DOES make a big difference). I am very irritable, angry and depressed.
Now, of course, how we feel physically DOES affect us emotionally. All the above - mixed with my weight, hormonal issues, aging issues, and swelled body with fluid retention - leaves me feeling ashamed, embarrassed, helpless, hopeless, and ridiculous.
As a Christian woman, all of that makes me even question my faith. A fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control - and I can't even eat right!? How sad is that! So if I am not exhibiting self -control, can I say I abide in Christ, that His Spirit is within me?

Yes, its all very negative and ridiculous isn't it! Yet when you are in the middle of the mess, it begins to get difficult to know what is
-physical
-emotional
-thought life
-spiritual
-an actual issue with someone else
etc.

In education we try to seperate math from reading, from grammar, etc. We also tend to do that to ourselves. Both are wrong.

We are spirit beings.
We live in mortal bodies.
Our five senses are the gateways to our souls and spirits.
After our senses, we then process everything through our minds.

So what we expose ourselves to will affect what we think about
and how we think about it will affect both our emotions and our physical bodies ...
(**Dr. Caroline Leaf "Who Switched Off My Brain"** highly recommended videos/book. Negative/fear based thoughts literally release a toxic chemical from your brain into your body, and positive/faith based thoughts release healing chemicals!)
How we are feeling physically leads to emotions, which leads to thoughts.

Meanwhile, the whole time our spirit being is being affected by all of it.

As a Christian, I desire
(Paul say is my reasonable service, and Watchman Nee calls it the normal Christian life)
to have the Holy Spirit of our Creator lead me and rule over my spirit, which will rule my soul (emotions, intellect, reasoning,etc),
which will rule over my body - which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Sadly, more often then not, my appetite in the flesh wins and drives me.
Which affects my soul,
which hampers the Holy Spirit's effectiveness in my life -
because He is a gentleman.

(ok, so I need to work on shorter blogs! But if you knew what I have held back you would appreciate how short this is! :) )

Will be starting 1st 4 week challenge on Saturday morning!
Today?
~Ate alright, had quite abit of chocolate - justified with very little sleep last night.
~Walked dog for 40 minutes - very therapeutic
~Am anxious to get kids tucked in so I can go on treadmill, shower and go to bed!
~have felt more 'up beat' today then I have for a long time ... I think its the hope I am feeling.

"...Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.
Take my heart Lord, take and seal it..."