Offense + Defense = flesh

Today I have experienced the 'zapping' of joy again, and think that it is tied to being offended, and hence feeling defensive.


If I am dead to myself and alive to God then it should be impossible to offend me - I am dead!

If I am defending myself, then God can't. Kind of like in court - you can choose defend yourself or use a good lawyer. I choose to ask Jesus to be my defender.


So I did 4 main things to try to help the situation.

1)I took Tucker our dog for a bike ride ... was still a bit huffy ... but as soon as I felt the cool crisp hair blowing on my face, and took in the beauty of the fall colors appearing, I felt God's tender arms around me and I let out a sigh. Exercise and fresh air (and God's creation) are excellent for SO many ailments!


2)While on my bike ride I prayed a prayer of surrender of myself, my family and my expectations. I asked God to forgive me for taking on the offense and defensive stance. ( I wish I could respond instantly in love and joy.) Then I proceeded to ask God to teach me how to pray for my family - including myself - and to make me the person He needs me to be - not necessarily who I wish to be. I made sure to pray a prayer of thanks - sincerely - for each one in my family ... out loud, speaking positive affirmations and praise to God for the work He has done. Then of course, thanked Him for His faithfulness to complete all He starts. :)


3) I got home and had a few minutes before preparing supper. I laid on my bed, elevated my feet and did some breathing 'exercises' and focused on relaxing. While there I...


4)Consciously acknowledged that I am very tired today and that that, in of itself, causes me to over exaggerate things in my mind.

I had a couple gifts from my Abba again...
-the excitement in my daughter's eyes as she told me all about a book she is in the middle of - I noticed a big grin on my face...without effort ;D
-geese flying over head while BBQueing Roger's steak
-the sunset and its light filtering through the trees while cooking at the stove.
-and of course the afore mentioned things :)



TODAY
1 piece of bacon, 2 coffee
1/2 cup oats, 1 Tbsp brown sugar
1 banana

1 Ryvita rye cracker sandwich with tomato, lettuce and miracle whip

snacked on peppers and carrots while cooking supper
(*struggling! finished diet pop from previous day)
6 chicken nuggets, plum sauce, raw peppers and garden fresh tomatoes, cooked carrots - nuggets had a bit of wheat coating**

**MAIN ACTIVITY today - cleaning out freezer that seems to be broken ... (hence why I didn't have plain chicken breast for supper)

Treadmill - 30 minutes

Did kind of walk Tucker - the bike is better for him, but easier on me (except for when we hit the grass and he RUNS :) )

Had about 5 glasses of water ... need to drink more this evening.

(I MAY have a few potato chips this evening while Roger and I watch a movie together... I am freeing myself to do so if I choose ... but surprisingly I am not feeling the need at this time.)

Not a perfect day 1 - but a start none the less...