To Write Or Not To Write

Probably 'not' - I'm not my friend who can write inspirationally even when she herself is not inspired.

I have purposely eaten what I should not, I have not been on treadmill, my weight is about 1 pound less then about 6 weeks ago (which is surprising considering fluid retention, etc!), I have been negative and emotional and trying to hide and deal with it all. I have had two 'breakdowns' this week - partly infront of my children. I struggle to love. I am 'shoulding' on myself left, right and center. I have moments of clarity and hope, only to fall back in this dark pit. This is all yucky and in the moment . My eyes are burning, my head aches, my body aches, and still I sit...sat... starring at the keyboard...
Can I start again tomorrow? Can I battle through this? Huh. Lots of "I"'s.

I am .........................................
He is my source of life and joy. He is my salvation and grace. He is my love and peace. He is my strength.
Hey soul! Listen up! Hey body! Listen up! It ain't about YOU - it's about Him and I want HIM in control! So mind - be transformed and renewed! It's time we let Holy Spirit drive this ship for awhile!! ... Change that! drive this ship for evermore!!

Right now my son is (im)patiently waiting for me to tuck him in and Holy Spirit is reminding me of being mom comes first right now.... actually, he has been very patient and not impatient at all! He is now standing by my side - a good 45 minutes after asking me to tuck him - and all he has said is "Mom, can I have a hug?" ... You betcha my son ... lets go have a few! :)