31:25 - strong, secure, dignified

Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure. She rejoices over the future - the latter day or time to come (knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it)!

Mmmm, 'strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure'.

I'm pondering; I have always found it very easy to be transparent - to the point that I have had to be very conscious to protect my husband's desire for privacy; but now I am pondering just how much to share.

How my heart yearns to be this woman described here, and don't say its impossible, I have seen my sister do it for 36 years! To be strong, dignified, secure and confident ... I have my moments when I do sense clarity and hope, you can refer to my April 1st blog regarding 'The Fog'. Yet just this last week I had another 'episode' and found myself planning how I could end it while leaving the least problems for my family. My anxiety level seems to be running on high, although I have no call for it to, and I know this because of my thought life and emotional turmoil.

Our thought life is very important to our emotions and actions, I know this. So when I have thoughts that I know are absurd or false I do what I can to stop them and refute them. Yet the intensity of these 'moments' seem to increase. The lie is whispered to me that these negative things keep coming back because it is truth. Part of me wants to lay it all out there to be exposed, but that is just too dreadful of a thought, and to articulate it in a way that one may be able to begin to understand I would have to do it in those moments... and as much as I want my blog to be real and true, I also want it to be full of hope.

So today I will meditate on my Aunt's blog and leave you with an excerpt from hers...
...It is interesting to note how much the Bible has to say about God’s choices. Of course, being the Creator of all that is, as well as the Redeemer of the world, and being the inherent essence of Love, Wisdom, and Knowledge, it is unquestionably His prerogative to make whatever choices He pleases. ...
God chooses the “foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and the weak things of the world to shame the things which are mighty, and base things of the world, and things which are despised, and things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, so that no-one can boast before Him.”...
(Taken from "Chosen" - Letters of Hope)

This really hasn't been a well written blog ...
(I spent time writing two more blogs after the silver one ... trying to identify where these ridiculous emotions are coming from, but have chosen to hide them)