Expectations

It had been awhile since I was on here, so I perused a bit...
I noticed my blog on being aware of my expectations.
I found this funny because my husband recently brought home some Joyce Meyer cds, and the one on contentment spoke to expectations, which spoke to me.

Where do our expectations lie?
Dare I give a churchy example?
Let's say you are going through something tough,
you EXPECT your pastor or elders to walk through it with you,
they are busy and for one reason or other aren't there for you like you'd like - you feel let down, a bit hurt, even bitter and resentful.
OR
you EXPECT God to hear your cry for someone to help you through,
God provides your neighbor lady, or a coworker, or maybe the pastor!
You thank them - of course! But you are praising God for His provisions. And you have no cause to be hurt by anyone.

Say you are married, you know the person loves you - they did marry you after all. But you expect certain things ... now be careful!

Let me share a story my sister shared with me (because her's is so blatantly God, whereas my experiences aren't quite so black and white!)
She was tired, started a battle against cancer, and was feeling rather unloved. She starting crying out to God regarding her husband and God asked her what she wanted from him. She didn't know, so she blurted out for him to call her Sunshine or something. Anyway, after time in prayer she resurrendered her need to feel loved to God. Her husband was sitting watching TV as she carried a load of laundry from the upstairs to the basement. In passing through the living room her husband, without much of even a glance, said "hey there Sunshine". Becca went to the laundry room and bawled! She told me he has never called her that before, nor since. And that ache she had to be loved - was gone - and was fed through more 'small jestures' that GOD did THROUGH her husband in the days that followed.

Don't you see - God can even be our lover ... ok, one of my stories...

"Special" days have always been "just another day" for my husband. Valentine's was our first date though and so I would usually try to do something a little extra for him. Then his mom passed away on Valentine's Day and it became just a day to get through.
On Valentine's of 09 my husband got up to go and get something to move the snow in our driveway. I was actually a bit relieved. I was feeling just awful ... ugly, unloved, unworthy of love... blah, blah, blah. So I was sitting on the couch crying, literally and out to God, wondering if He could still love me, when the door bell rang. I hadn't brushed my teeth or anything, I ran my hand over the mess of hair on my head and wondered who in the world would be at the door. I opened the door and my husband - who RARELY buys flowers, really, one hand counting in 16 years - AND who always bad mouthed Tim Horton's and coffee - was standing there with a Timmy's and beautiful bouquet of roses! Needless to say he was taken back a bit by his wife's outburst of tears and death hug! I felt like God Himself was standing there. He has OFTEN used my husband to demonstrate and bring understanding of His love for me.

None of this takes away my love for my husband - in fact I have found it quite the opposite, I sense a deeper connection to my husband for it!

Is it wrong to expect anything from anybody? No, but you need to be careful. I have gone years praying about things in my dear husband - some things God has changed in his heart very quickly, others, well, He's taking His sweet time! :) In those times I have found it good to search my heart, and it has stretched me in my reliance on Jesus.

I personally struggle the most with the expectations I hold of myself. That's where Joyce touched a nerve in me... or I should say God did through her!
As I clearly demonstrated in my blog of my expectations, you now know a bit of them too. God has blessed me so much and protected me, I can't help but think and feel that I should be more than I am. It's hard to see things that should/could be done and not beable to do them.

But my expectation will stand in God and my faith that He is faithful to complete every good work He starts - including me! ;D