Living With One Another

Well, I am 0-5 pounds heavier then when I first began this blog, managed to 'stay stat' this month. Another failure for my glial cells in my mind to gobble up - if only I wouldn't think of it and allow this memory to be a 'flappy tree branch' in my mind.


I could go on with reasons, etc., of why I continue to fail in eating right enough and exercising enough to lose weight - but if you look back over these I have already done that.


So lets start new .... again ... thank God for His promise that His mercies are new every morning!


My anxiety and stress feel very high lately due to children and marital things, I ponder writing it out here, but am not ready to articulate most of it to anyone but my Jesus quite yet. Besides, at this point I'd talk in circles I'm sure.


I made a covenant with my husband before God and witnesses and intend to honor it with my whole being. God is doing a work in both of us, and in my children as well, so why not let the Master Artist finish what He started.


Love - giving of oneself completely and utterly with no expectations of reciprication...

Oh boy, I feel I'm about to take off on a rant! Oh well, who really reads this anyway!

I think that most of the problems in a marriage arise because we are more concerned about our own rights and feelings, and because we are quicker to assume the negative rather then the the positive of the other.

One example comes from about a decade ago in my own marriage. My husband continually gave reasons why I couldn't go see my mom or friend - vehicle too old and unreliable, vehicle newer but needs new tires, doesn't want it miled up, no money for gas, too busy to come rescue me if something should happen - one could look and think that he was power hungry and controlling. It was hard for me not to see it that way - especially in light of all the other 'stuff' going on in our marriage during this same time.

Then two things happened.

One friend commented that my husband is a mechanically minded man and that is how he is showing his love for me. He hadn't learned yet how to meet my emotional needs.

Then another called me, upset. She had plans to travel from Fort Mac to Saskatchewan in the winter with two small kids. The morning she was to leave everything seemed to go wrong, and when she finally got the kids and luggage,etc. packed into the van, she realized she had a flat tire. She called her husband exasperated and asked if he had not seen the flat tire - he casually commented that, yes, he had but didn't think anything of it because he was confident she was capable of taking care of it!

We did laugh near the end of that conversation because here I am wanting a little more faith from my husband and she is wanting a little more 'masculine tending to'.

So I can see the actions of my husband, see the look on his face, hear the tone in his voice

and choose to believe he's this-or-that-negative-labelled-thing

- or I can choose to believe he loves me, his intentions are not to hurt me, and try to simply deal with the actual issue at hand.

We've all misread body language, we've all said something and realized it came out a lot differently then we intended - often because of other things going on other then the situation at hand. If I "REACT" to something I perceive as negative it is guaranteed to quickly elevate to something ugly. But if I hold my tongue and only "RESPOND" when I know I am being constructive and speaking out of love, then something tender and sore can much more quickly and easily be healed.

A quiet answer turns away much wrath.