Waiting

In the fall of last year circumstances occurred that were out of our control. A decision made by those in authority over me, and a very rare injury that took my husband's legs for a solid 14+ weeks, placed my entire family at home. Finances stopped, but thankfully, the blessings from friends and family has carried us through; and until recently I experienced that peace that passes understanding and an excitement for this new chapter God was bringing us into.

Now my husband's legs are progressing, he'll be starting physio very soon, and is building up to be back to work full time. The decision for us to homeschool was for an undetermined amount of time, and now we face a lot of difficult decisions. I know God's timing is perfect and that He's never late - and although I know the fact that He's never early only strengthens my faith, that doesn't make me necessarily enjoy the wait!

I have poured my heart out in my journal, within which I list off all the dreams within my heart. It is important to goal set, dream, and affirm where you are going. Although what we do and where we go matter, it is much more vital who we are and are becoming. My heart's desire and longing is to hear my Creator's Voice, I am willing to take any leap of faith - if I know He's in it.

So I have my days when I feel like a hamster in a wheel as I juggle all the pros and cons of our many decisions, looking for open or closed doors, searching my heart for where His peace is leading ... then exhausted, I fall back into His arms.
I think I strive and stress during these times because I fear missing the mark. I have a sense of urgency that time is short, particularily with my children and don't want to waste a day, then day to day stuff happens and time continues to slip through my fingers. I am acutely aware of my shortcomings, only enhancing the lie that I have failed and will continue to fail. But fear is contrary to faith, and I am choosing to forget what is behind and to press toward the mark that God has called me.

I believe God will open doors for us, and we will one day look back on this time and see His fingerprints all over it. I know this to be true because I have experienced it before in other circumstances, and witnessed it in other's lives. So while I am in this waiting room I will choose not to give way to fearful, stressful decision making. I will renew my mind daily, seeking out my Abba like a child playing hide and seek with daddy, and follow His leading in any preparation that is needed for what, only He knows, is coming.


Are you waiting? Here are some encouraging words from scripture:
Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways
(Ps.37:7-8a)

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation,
by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus.
(Phil 4:6-7)

Those that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall rise up with wings as eagles,
they shall run and not grow weary,
walk and not faint.
Teach me Lord to wait!
(Is.40:30)

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits ...
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
(Ps 103:2,5)

In your unfailing love you will lead
the people you have redeemed.
In your strength you will guide them
to your holy dwelling.
(Ex.15:13)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
(Is.42:16)